Is that... *The* Elli?

Elli's a celebrity. Sorta. :)

I had a great day today. Elli and I did some showing off training at Sarah's, author of the Married with Dawgs blog, cute little doggy shop, NoPo Paws, and I invited her to be a volunteer dog/handler team (with Hurley) at my next KPA workshop.

Elli did some seriously hilarious things while we let her explore the whole shop after I ran out of kibble for training and I'm hoping she'll post the pictures she got of her -- fantastic that Sarah even had a camera on her! I always forget mine lol.

In other news, Elli had a slight limp this morning and I'm not entirely sure what could have caused it... perhaps it's just her filling out her muscles or something, or she may have sprained it at the dog park the other day. I really don't know. I gave her a Rimadyl for the pain this AM and she's not limping tonight, which is good to see.

I hope you had good day, too!

I really want to thank you all for being so supportive of my decision to leave work. I've fought a lot of crap lately about how it all went down and reading all your well wishes and good-for-me comments has been simply wonderful. Even when I start to think that I definitely did something wrong, reading what you've all said again helps me cement that it really was time to go, regardless of how it was done. So, thank you. <3

Taking A Stand: My Battle with Logic.

If you've been reading for some time, you'll know how much I have disliked my job, the people who I work for and the way they treat the animals who board there.

Over the past few months, it's grown from dislike to disdain, to resentment, to rage, to feeling caged and being constantly reminded that I am imperfect and will never make them proud. It was not a healthy place for me to be and I knew full-well of this reality but did nothing about it.

I am a logical person, but I am also a very emotional person. I develop my opinions based on both parts of myself, but I'm not going to lie: the logic in quitting my job without the security of having another one was completely absent. Still, I couldn't forget the fact that I was hurting in one way or another every time I went to work. And then there was Elli, who had to spend hours away from me, bored out of her mind and, recently, unable to be properly exercised during the 10 hours that we were there each day, four days a week.

There was a time when I let people beat me down over and over again, when I would say "that's enough" but let it happen again and again. There was a time when I lost friends over this, when they couldn't watch me put myself through it anymore. There was a time when I wouldn't let my voice be heard, when I took any disappointment anyone else had in me out on myself, tenfold. Every day I went to work, I was reminded of the day when I finally said "One of these days, I'm going to leave you and I won't be coming back". Every day I went to work, I wished for a reason to say those same words again and have them hold true again. Every day I had a reason... but the logic somehow overruled those words.

So I buried it.
Again and again and again and again.

Inevitably, I exploded, like I knew I would. None of it was verbal, none of it was physical. I simply reached my limit, sped off into the darkness, crying hysterically. There were screeching tires as I took a windy road at 60mph, but all I heard was my crying, all I heard were the last words screamed at me by my manager and I truly felt that it would be better to crash the car than to have to go back to work. To realize that now, safe in my bed with my spotted puppy sleeping peacefully between my knees, it hurts me more that I put it off for so long, that it even had to pushed so far.

I wasn't going to be the girl I was almost four years ago. I wasn't going to let them beat me down anymore. I wasn't going to give a silent defeat anymore. They would hear me loud and clear:

Last night, I quit.

I do not have any income security, so maybe it was illogical. But to me, my feelings will always be paramount and nobody will bring me down like that or make me feel like I have no other option but to stay ever again. If I have to struggle and fight to make things work out for Elli and I, so be it; I'll do it because it can't possibly be worse than returning to that place.

Struggles with Elli's Near to Me Syndrome.

I remember at camp this year, Elli laid in her kennel outside, calmly, patiently, either gnoshing on a Kong or watching me or even curled up in her blanket inside. I was told several times over how amazing my dog was, how great she was in the kennel and if she came pre-programmed to do so. No, I'd say, we worked really hard on her crate training -- the key is to make it a positive place for her.

It's remained a positive place for her. But somehow, I've become more positive to her than the crate ever has been. Now, it's her MO to be near me, even if we're doing nothing. My guess is that all the KPA exercises and learning together that we've done has significantly altered our relationship. We have always been close, but now more than ever she's my best friend. If I'm in a bad mood, it's her I go to see; if I'm shopping for stuff for me, I'll end up buying something for her.

It's becoming more and more clear that the more I leave her side, the more she hates being left. What I think I'm seeing is the beginning of separation anxiety. I don't like to throw that phrase around because I know there are dogs out there who have it worse than Elli does, perhaps theirs is full-fledged desperation, nervousness until you return -- and even then, it takes a few hours to calm them down. I'm saying that Elli is developing it. I don't know that she'll ever get to the point and I'm going to try to halt the development of that as soon as I can. So, for now, I won't call it separation anxiety. I'll call it: Near to Me Syndrome. :)

I posted a while ago that Elli likes to jump the play yard fences at work in order to find me somewhere if I leave her alone for too long, if she gets bored, etc. Back then, it wouldn't happen unless I hadn't shown up for an hour or more, or if I had interrupted her playing and then left her -- then she'd be desperate to find me. She used to jump one fence and get out onto the sidewalk near the rest of the boarders, but after falling on her back on a slippery sidewalk (yes, I nearly swallowed my heart), she now consistently jumps down into the adjacent play area.

So here's how it goes these days: I can't even get all the way down the aisle before she's leaped into the adjacent area and then the following adjacent area, etc. I can't even enter a building for five minutes before she's leaped into the third adjacent area from the first! Just recently, I left her in a play area and went to the adjacent one to let another dog back into his kennel-run after he'd done his business and she had leaped the fence immediately upon seeing me turn my back to her. I was probably 20' away from her when she showed up at my feet - "Hi Mom!".
She managed to cut her leg open on the fencing this time. Awesome, right? I refuse to wait for the day when she breaks her ankles.

We've taken a management approach as of late, even though last time I mentioned her fence-hopping, I said this was "unthinkable": she's not allowed to play with any dogs unless it's on my lunch break where I can supervise. I will not leave her alone to go potty and if she has to wait for me to get her food ready for the morning, she'll wait in her kennel-run, not in a play area. Everything she does will be with me present, so there is no reason for her to leap the fences. Problem: she doesn't like to play with other dogs if I'm present -- I'm more fun to play with? So, she's gotten little exercise at work -- which sucks when I come home as she's bouncing off the walls, ripping apart new stuffed toys and refusing to settle down. A walk wouldn't settle her down -- she'd come back and ferociously lick my ear off and perhaps get attacked again by KitKit. If I put her in her kennel, she's begun scratching at the screen. If I put her in the car in her car harness, she Border-collies her way out. If I put her in her kennel-run, she barks and barks and barks. If she hears me outside of her kennel-run, she barks and barks and barks -- "Here I am, Mom, come get me!" She's become completely uninterested in anything I give her at work -- she will rarely finish a Kong unless I'm present.

I've tried high reinforcement in the play area, the same way we did with her kennel. I have rewarded for calmness from outside the play area. The constant: I'm always there to deliver the reinforcement. My presence doubles as reinforcement. But I'm physically unable to deliver a treat without being in front of her (this isn't Star Trek!), so my last resort is the Manners Minder. It costs an arm and a leg but I really feel like it could be the answer. For now, management has been working, I guess... but it is absolutely not ideal for the long-term.

I think the worst part: Nobody at work seems to give a flying f*ck. I really need to quit this job, then there'd be no fences for Elli to jump (I'm sure it'd manifest itself in a different way, though)... Why I haven't gotten a call back from the most recent application is beyond me. I'm starting to feel anxious and insecure.

UPDATE: I have a preliminary interview soon! Thanks for passing the luck along! 

Aww, Man...

Guess who won the contest?

Not Elli.

A rooster won.
Wtf, right? It's a contest for a dog/cat website and a rooster won!? 

Shameful. So, I'll find something else to giveaway! In due time, of course. Thanks to everyone who voted for us; I swear the giveaway will happen -- perhaps for my birthday (Nov 12)... or for Elli's Gotcha Day (Nov 10)!

In other news:
-- Do you remember when I mentioned that Elli had an allergic reaction (pictures here show minor reddening; it's worse now) to the cedar arborvitae along our property line? Well, I thought that the fur she lost on her neck was due to that, but it never grew back and for whatever reason, her fur has been reddening, or rusting, under her neck, down her chest and around her neck (the way a collar is situated). She hasn't been wearing a collar for almost two weeks now (to rule out contact allergies to it) and the redness on the back of her neck has faded, but under her neck is just as bad. I catch her scratching at it often (not obsessively, though) and she's opened up a few wounds. We went to a new, holistic vet and she prescribed an antibiotic/steroid spray, though she had no ideas about what was causing the redness either. We used it for the recommended period of 10 days and nothing really changed -- other than the fact that Elli smelled like isoprophyl alcohol -- so the whole thing was quite possibly a colossal waste of money. I can't figure out for the life of me what it is, so I'm hoping that by boosting her immune system (via her probiotic, that I quit her on for quite some time for no particular reason), her fur will grow back and the redness will go away. On a white dog, it really just bothers me; that and her constant itching is kinda frightening.
-- There's a job opening in Portland (where I live) instead of in Hillsboro (where I work now) for a dog trainer at an established R+ training facility -- I stayed up 'til 2am applying for it (in spite of having to get up at 5:30am), so I'm really hoping I have a shot at it! I'm still waiting to hear back -- and feelings of anxiousness are taking over. I want my life to be as a dog trainer... not as a dog-kennel-cleaner, ya know, so this would be an amazing opportunity. Wish me luck!!

One Day Left!! (Giveaway - Cancelled).

To Vote for Elli's Butt! (Contest Ends Oct 9 at 11:59PM CDT == that's two whole potential votes!)

Clicky!

Help us be the Iconic Butt of PoopBags.com!

We'll also win a framed picture of her derriere and $100 worth of PoopBags merch!

If we win, whoever has commented below that they've voted (and has actually voted) will be entered in a giveaway for your choice of any of the merch we win! Check out their merchandise, see if it's worth it -- secret: IT IS!

Clicking & Bikejoring 101: Desensitizing the Harness.

When I first decided I wanted Elli to be a bikejoring dog, I realized I would need to get her into yet another harness. Elli doesn't like any of her harnesses because I often put her into them without any prior desensitization. This one, I decided, would be different -- I need her to work happily and that means getting into the harness happily.

If you're a visual learner, here ya go:

We'll be using targeting to help the dog into the harness.
Prerequisites: Dog must know how to target your hand/fingers/an object for a C/T.
Dog must be accustomed to clicker, but you can also verbally mark ("Yes!").

Putting on the Harness
Step 1: Start by holding the harness in your hand and cuing your dog to touch it, C/T.
Move it around a little in your hand, so that the dog is touching different parts of the harness and begins to learn that this harness-thing is pretty cool -- it dispenses treats!

Step 2: Fold the harness up so that only the neck-hole is visible to your dog. Put your arm through and ask the dog to touch your hand (if you're using an object, hold the target in this hand). Start so that it's very easy for the dog to reach the target and as he succeeds, reel your arm back further and further, so that the dog must move his head forward into the harness' neck-hole in order to touch the target. Continue to C/T successful touches.

Step 3: Hold the target (or your hand) just outside of the neck-hole, cue the touch. If he gets scared when his head touches the neck-hole, go back to holding the target just inside of the neck-hole. Quickly increase criteria to outside the neck-hole.

Step 4: Your dog might be touching the target and then moving his head back out of the neck-hole as quickly as possible, anticipating his C/T. What you'll have to do now is start pulling the neck-hole around his head -- C/T as you do this and when you deliver the reward, take the harness off! Taking the harness off is just as reinforcing as the C/T is!

Step 5: After your dog is comfortable having the harness around his neck, C/T for wearing the harness. You'll be keeping the harness on this time. Reward several times for touches while he is wearing the harness.

Step 6: With the harness around his neck, C/T for touching one front foot. Do this three or four times and then begin to hold the foot in your hand, C/T for this several times. Pick the foot up, bend at the ankle, C/T several repetitions. Finally, pick the foot up, bend it at the ankle and slide it into the leg loop. Repeat with the other front foot.

Step 7: Your dog should be in the harness by now, so we'll C/T for easy things to help him understand this harness is not a punisher or restriction device. C/T several easy nose-touches to the target. Ask for his favorite tricks in the harness. Elli's include High Fives and Spins. This will build his confidence in the harness. He'll learn he's still allowed to move in the harness.

You might also consider a fun game in the harness, fetch or tug come to mind. But don't carry on with this for too long as we need the dog to understand that when he has the harness on, work is going to happen, not play. When we finally get to pulling the bike, running will be reinforcing enough.

Taking Off the Harness

Just as important as getting the harness on is taking it off. We don't want the animal struggling to get the harness off -- it should be an easy affair for both human and animal.

Step 8: Start by picking up each foot and bending at the ankle, slide it back out of the leg loop and C/T. We're C/Ting for the whole process this time, as we've already desensitized the foot-pickup. Repeat with the second foot.

Step 9: Elli was timid about this next part, so I started by just moving my hands around the neck loop and C/Ting for having my hands near her face and gripping the neck-loop. You can begin pulling the neck-loop over the head now, C/T as you do this, and reward with the harness fully off. Repeat the putting-on process with the neck-loop, C/T the process again if you must and then repeat the taking-off process.

You should repeat this process a time or two each time you want to work your dog in the harness, but you'll be able to move through each step more quickly. Eventually you won't have to C/T every step, but you'll be able to put the neck loop on, C/T, pick up one foot and put it in the loop, pick up the other foot and C/T for both feet being put in and the harness being fully on.

UPDATE: Elli is not a large enough dog to pull a bike, so I'm considering an off-road scooter or rollerblades. If neither of those works out as planned, off-leash biking is always an option that I think she'd welcome. 

I May Have Finally Found *It*: Tugalicious.

It.

The ultimate IT.

Elli's favorite-beyond-favorite tug toy.

She loved it from the moment she first heard it grunt. Squeakers are apparently old news -- she has so many of them they're just boring noise-makers now. Grunters are in-style in Elli's world now.

Grunt Grunt!

I have been searching high and low for what seemed like ages for something that would motivate Elli the way you see in all those agility videos --- happy dogs moving at super high speeds with the hope that eventually they'll get that favorite tug at the end.

What got me really searching this time, as I'd put it out of mind for quite some time, was seeing how much fun Elli's friend the Border collie from KPA had with his special tug -- a rope with a football (with a face) at the end... add to that, my co-worker's comment that I should get Elli competing in agility after seeing for the first time Elli's crazy repertoire of tricks.

Problem #1: Elli likes to tug, but only when she initiates it.
Problem #2: Tugging was only initiated when she found a random toy to initiate tug with, even if it wasn't a tug toy -- like a squeaky plush ball, as if I'd want my hand that close to her mouth when she goes into high-drive - HA!
Problem #3: The tugs she chose one day weren't interesting enough in low-medium distraction environments the next day.
Problem #4: Elli loves food way more than she loves playing, so much that even shaping a tug wasn't going to work for her (she'd often default into Sits and Downs and then get really frustrated with the game itself). For her, food means work. Toys mean nothing if there is work to be done.
Problem #5: Just like she'd have to initiate it, she'd be in control of when the tugging ended as well, meaning she could back out early or even when I presented it after a successful round of tricks.

The other day, Elli showed interest in her leash as a tug, so we played with that in what-I-would-deem a high distraction environment (the dog park). But then she ended the game for a good sniff.

Part of me really just wants a tugging dog. I want it to be super reinforcing as it builds speed much, much more quickly than shaping using food rewards ever has with her; her enthusiasm stays at a level that's appropriate for focus and work, but certainly not for play.

Problem #6: I don't think this tug will last long -- it's not meant to be a tug. It's meant to be a recreational play toy and is not built to be tugged on by a 40lb spotted dog. It broke a few seams the first time out! I've made it into a tug because she loves it so and it's given me the first glimpse I've had at what an amazing partner she could be. But what to do, once it's destroyed?

Perhaps I'll have to transfer the grunter into a more durable (meant-for-tugging) toy or something. Cover it in the polyester fur that covers the hedgehog now and go from there? Or buy the hedgehogs in bulk, similar to what Kristine over at Rescued Insanity has to do with Shiva's treat pouches - haha.

Whatever it takes, right? :)
(Ideally, I'll be able to generalize the tugging to different toys -- but we're still in the very beginning stages!)

Here is the training plan I'm drawing from, in case you have the same desires as I do -- so far, it's working splendidly. It's super fun to watch her go crazy and then put that "You put it away; what the heck, Mom?!" face on, as I walk away like nothing happened.
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Help Elli BE THE BUTT and Vote for us!

Elli and Forgiveness.

It's something I struggle with on a very real basis. I tend to cut people out of my life if they do something to me intentionally or unintentionally without a second thought. Over the years, I've gotten quite good at it. I can't say that I've ever been ashamed of it... until yesterday.

We were at the dog park during my lunch break and Elli was being followed around by a black and white Pittie girl (she had little britches, too!) named Pepper. It didn't seem to bother Elli as she explored the park, pooped, rolled in another dog's poop and ran around happily. Somehow, when Elli was in the middle of a pack of dogs near the community watering hole, something happened and I heard Elli bark defensively -- I issued an emergency whistle recall, which she responded to immediately at a dead run. Latent consquence: the pack of dogs followed her and she felt the need to defend herself, hackles went up, tail went under, teeth were bared and Elli lashed out at Pepper. Both being unfamiliar with proper exiting strategies, they barked some with bared teeth until I cued Elli into a Sit and asked her for several Ice Creams (she lip licks on cue -- a calming signal, to help her start the process back into under-threshold behavior). Pepper's guardian came over and quietly asked if Elli was okay. I told him she just got scared, performing a behavior she knows very well and being interrupted from work-mode. I wanted to tell him we definitely don't blame Pepper's breed, as Elli is of Pittie descent as well.

Pepper's guardian redirected Pepper and Elli was calm enough to resume her dog park behavior. She trotted up the hill in the park and Pepper followed her. I was standing next to Pepper's guardians, both of us very aware of our dogs. Elli stopped, turned toward Pepper. Pepper approached and kissed Elli's nose a few times, and Elli kissed back. Forgiveness?

Yeah.

They trotted off together as both Pepper's guardian and I giggled and aww'd.

Elli's a much better human than I am.

Is your dog better at something than you are?
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Elli's been entered in the Be the Butt Photo Contest by Poop Bags.
Voting started at midnight last night -- if you love Elli's butt, please vote for us via Facebook!

Voting Ends October 9.